Happyslapped by a jellyfish

About halfway through this, I started channeling Karl, thinking to meself, “Do we need it?” and “Hmm, I just want to chuck this, the way he’s knocking about, blathering on.” In seriousness, his written word doesn’t have the impact his spoken nonsense has that cracks me up on Ricky Gervais’ podcast.
These aren’t direct quotes, but as I remember them:
“I eat oranges in the bathtub so I can dunk my hands after eating”
“New York, the city so nice they named it twice? Nah, they couldn’t hear you the first time, it’s so loud.”
“We’re running out of words. Cow-fish? Has nothing to do with a cow.”

auth=Pilkington, Karl
sub=The words of Karl Pilkington